How often do you ask someone how they are and mean it? I mean really, mean it like you are 100% genuinely interested.
We all get caught up in our lives and are so busy, that we forget to ask our family and our friends how they really are. I’m guilty of it, in fact, I often catch myself out having a conversation and it’s all about me. I then make the conscious effort to turn the conversation around and make it about the other person. I am genuinely interested in what they have been up to and how they are, so I make a point of showing that. It’s easy to get caught up in yourself, sometimes we need a little reminder it’s not all about you.
How often do you walk past, someone, you know and say ‘Hi, how are you?’ then put your head down and keep walking. Do you then think to yourself, wow, I probably should have stopped then and had a bit more of a chat? I do, often! My life is so busy with work, kids and their sports that I find it easier to sit at my computer, jump on Facebook and message people to see how they have been. Sometimes my brain is fried from a hectic day and the thought of picking up the phone to call them is nauseatingly draining. I just want to sit and take 5 minutes to turn off my brain!
This Coronavirus period has taught me so much. It has taught me that family and friends are my number one priority. Not work, not sport but reaching out and spending quality time with the ones I love. By being in lockdown and having the time to reach out and ask everyone ‘how are you?’ has been great. I have reconnected with those friends who I haven’t had time to catch up with, and I mean catch up properly. Not just a quick hi, we have had full conversations and caught up on ins and outs of each other's lives.
We are all so busy and get wrapped up too much within ourselves. We become secluded in our little worlds and sometimes forget the people that surround us and make us who we are. Asking someone ‘how are you?’ can make all the difference to someone. I know myself when I get asked that question, I have a million things start to swirl within my head. Questions like ‘do I tell them how I am?’ ‘do I just smile and say I’m doing great?’ Majority of the time I smile and say I’m doing great, and sometimes I let my walls down and I let it all out. If I have had a shitty day, I tell them. Be authentic and tell them, after all, they asked the question, so be honest and tell truth.
Being the person to ask ‘how are you’ you have to be ready for what response you get. So my point is, if you are going to ask someone how they are, mean it! Be the person that is genuinely interested in that person’s wellbeing and their life. Put your busy life to the side, forget the rush that you were in and give that person 100% of you at that moment. Be with them!
What has been most surprising to me is that life hasn’t imploded because we have stopped and are chilling out in isolation. It has made me realise that I don’t need to be that obscenely crazy mother who works and runs around after her kids twenty-four seven. I have enjoyed the quality family time we have spent playing board games or watching movies together and I have even enjoyed the homeschooling side of things. I feel like I have been more involved in their education, I can see where they are at and how they are dealing with things. Iso has forced me to sit back, reassess, and ask myself ‘how are you?’
I think a lot, and this downtime in iso has given me copious amounts of thinking time. I have come to the realisation that I need to make sure I reach out to as many as my friends that I can and ask them how they are. I need to make more of an effort to keep in closer contact with them all. I need to slow down and make time for the people who have my back when I need them. It’s also made me realise which of those friends should read this blog!
So, ask yourself these questions…Do you need everything you have? And … Do you make the effort to ask how are you, and genuinely mean it?
Kate xx